The Dark Side Of Winter
This story was written as a contribution to the gift exchange called Snapíšek. During my time in the Snarry CZ/SK group I had the chance to realise which things fascinate us Harry Potter fanfiction lovers, and our Friday discussions helped a lot. Thank you, FemmeFragile! But this story came to me while reading the prompts I had offered in the autumn challenge that nobody picked up. In its own way the story is a little melancholic, but I think lovers of romance will get their fill. A huge thank you to Šedoočka for editing and invaluable advice. I'm an incorrigible fighter with commas and dialogue. I hope you enjoy this story and don't forget to send me some proper criticism.
I declare that the whole world of Harry Potter is the sole property of J.K. Rowling and that this story was not written for profit.
Winter. Harry looked out of the window and stared at the mess. "Snow wherever you look," he smiled bitterly to himself. 'Severus would be pleased,' he thought, cradling his hot tea in his palms. He took a slow sip and turned away from the window, only for his eyes to fall on the empty armchair where the one he was just thinking about used to love sitting and reading a book.
The house Harry was in now was Severus's old house in Spinner's End. He had inherited it after Severus's death.
In the weeks right after, it had occurred to him that he should sell it, because everything was crashing down on him. But he actually had nowhere else to go, because he had sold 12 Grimmauld Place soon after the war. He'd had many reasons, and one of them was the thought that the house was too full of memories of the dead.
"How ironic," he sighed, sat down in his armchair and took a sip of tea. He looked at the little table where Severus's book still lay open at the page he had read last.
He leaned back and sighed again. "How could you do this to me?" He closed his eyes and kept talking, as if Severus were there with him. "Damn it! I know you were older than me, Severus, by a good twenty years, but you could have told me in advance and maybe I could have gone with you!"
A tear rolled from the corner of his eye. "Instead of leaving me here to suffer like this! You were only ninety one. And I'm seventy one. Too young, apparently. I'll follow you very soon anyway. I'm old, grey, useless, and our Albus has his own family. He'll take care of James. Nobody has stopped by for more than two weeks," he smiled bitterly and added, "Not that I blame them. Who would want to spend time with someone who has nothing to talk about anyway, because the only thing that made sense to him is gone." Then he straightened up and shifted in his armchair. "I've probably gone mad, talking to myself like this, but I know you're here with me. You just can't answer me. I can feel it in my bones how you'd growl at me and curse me," he chuckled cheerfully. "I feel better already just imagining it. We spent long years together and you never changed." He looked out of the window. "You'd probably be drinking that awful brew of yours for aching joints and complaining about why nobody has found a spell to turn winter into summer yet?" Then his eyes clouded with pain again. "Yes, that's what you'd do. But where you are now, you probably don't care about any of it."
* * *
Albus Severus frowned at his brother and blurted out, "We can't leave him like this! Dad Harry is all we have left! What if he decides to go after Severus?!"
James Sirius frowned. "I wouldn't want that," he said, gazing into his butterbeer.
"But he already has one foot in the grave!" Albus blurted out. "James! We have to come up with something for him to hold on to, or something he could do, and maybe he could bring in those memories he loves telling us about so much!"
James looked up at the ceiling of the pub. "We haven't been to see him for more than two weeks. Maybe it's already too late..."
At that Albus jumped up and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "For God's sake, James! I thought you went to see him on Friday!"
James narrowed his eyes. "And do you know when? Besides, I wasn't in the mood! He'd just cry again and complain about being alone!"
An unpleasant feeling hatched in Albus. He threw a few coins on the table and looked at James. "Fine, I'll take it that you don't care! Then I'll say goodbye and go and check on him! What must he be thinking, when neither of us has been there for so long!" He frowned and walked out in front of the pub, where he immediately Apparated to Spinner's End. He knocked on the door and then unlocked it himself. When he went through the house and reached the living room, his heart sank. He saw Dad Harry in his armchair, with his hand resting on the armrest of the other armchair and a photograph of them all pressed to his heart. His chest was rising and falling, so Albus quickly calmed down. He went into the kitchen and made dinner.
Harry was slowly waking up. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses, which he hadn't taken off when he sank into that wonderful dream. He, Severus and their two sons together. He clenched his hand and realised he was holding something. When he lifted it and looked at the smiling Severus, hugging all his loved ones over and over, he slipped back into a gloomy mood. But he felt rested like he hadn't in a long time. Then he heard dishes clinking in the kitchen. He carefully got up, took his walking stick and gripped his wand in the other hand. "Severus?" he tried calling carefully and approached the kitchen.
Albus heard him call 'Severus', squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then called back, "It's me, Dad!" And he came into the living room with a tray holding Harry's favourite food.
"Severus's pancakes!" Harry smiled and looked at Albus. "Shall we share them, child?"
Albus smiled. "You bet, Daddy, I'm not leaving it all to you!" Harry took a breath. "You're half a century old and you're still not embarrassed to call me 'Daddy'?" He burst out laughing.
Albus looked at him in surprise. "A habit is a habit! You know James and I called you Dad and Daddy..." he chuckled. "Dad was just too strict and, you know, touchy," he found the word. "He couldn't be Daddy," Harry agreed and sat down. "Albus. I feel I won't be here much longer. Dad is waiting for me."
Albus covered his hand in a soothing gesture. "Dad left us suddenly. But you wouldn't leave us here alone, would you?"
Harry looked down into his lap. "I'd like you, Albus," he smiled, "to be as happy as I was. You know, my life didn't start out very happily..." He avoided a direct answer.
Albus nodded. "I know a little. You're a famous person, after all!"
Harry chuckled. "The world knows practically nothing about me, Albus. My family knows me, but there are so many things I haven't told you. Only Severus knew them. First he stole my memories, and then he lived through them with me." He nodded. "Maybe it's time the world found out. I'd like you to know who Harry Potter and Severus Snape were."
Albus opened his mouth, because the second name surprised him! Severus Potter, he thought, but changed his mind and waited to hear what Harry would tell him next. He knew the name Severus Snape, and there weren't many pleasant things he had heard. Harry looked out of the window into the darkness again and began to tell his story.
"Let's start with a few basic facts. I was born on 31 July 1980 in Godric's Hollow, where a wizard called Lord Voldemort attacked me. He killed your grandparents, whose photos we have in the family album. Their names were Lily and James Potter. I was raised by my aunt and uncle. The Dursleys. This is a good moment to tell you that you have a cousin. Their son Dudley got married and has a son and a daughter. I stayed in touch with him, even though I had to work from a very young age. Cleaning, cooking, and Dudley loved bullying me. The whole family hated me, really. Until I was eleven I slept in the cupboard under the stairs..." Harry chuckled, and Albus gasped. He really hadn't known this. "Dudley worked his way up to being a fairly normal Muggle. He stopped acting like an idiot and accepted that magic exists. His parents denied it until they died. I'd like Dudley to know about my death. We write to each other regularly. You'll find the letters, with his address, in the chest of drawers. It was the only place Severus never went, if he had found out, he'd probably have pulled my ears," he burst out laughing again. "The nonsense everyone knows about me, how I saved the Philosopher's Stone with my two friends and killed the dreaded basilisk, all the way to defeating Lord Voldemort, we can leave out of the story." He stopped and turned to Albus. "Oh, I just remembered you don't know my two friends. Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. They got married after school. They couldn't stand Severus, and they had good reason!" he smirked. "That's why they didn't come to our house and you don't know them. In fact, because of Severus, we didn't talk about them. But, Albus, they had a beautiful daughter called Rose!" He winked. "I have their letters there too, with Dudley's. Invite them to my funeral, will you?"
Albus was getting fed up with this whole conversation, but it looked as if Daddy wouldn't be at peace until he had said it, so he nodded in agreement and Harry went on. "Maybe you could stay in touch with them afterwards. They're both alive..." He exhaled. "But I've wandered off. I was terrible, Albus. Always in some trouble or mortal danger. And he saved me every time. And now it's time to tell you about Severus!" He gazed outside again, where the moonlight reflected off the snow. "Severus Snape was born on 9 January 1960. He was a half blood. His father was a Muggle of the worst kind. He beat his wife and he beat Severus too. And as a child, and then as a young man, Severus was drawn more and more to the Dark Arts."
Albus raised his eyebrows. They knew little about Dad, and the news that Severus Potter had once been Severus Snape shook him a little. Because Severus Snape was something of a persona non grata in the wizarding world. Of course they had covered the war in History of Magic, and the name Severus Snape had come up. But mostly in a bad context, apart from the fact that he had helped bring about the victory. But nothing more. Harry smirked. "You look surprised. I'm going to shatter your image of your parents, Albus. Do you want to hear it?" Albus nodded carefully and Harry went on. "He became one of the closest followers of a certain Tom Marvolo Riddle. It's an anagram. Later he became Lord Voldemort." Albus exhaled sharply. "Because of that, Severus lost his closest friend. Lily Evans. My mother. During Voldemort's first rise he played a part in her death. He told him that sweet prophecy... Yes, Albus, it was him..." he confirmed the unspoken question in his son's eyes. "He had no idea she was pregnant. He tried to undo it when he went to Albus Dumbledore and became a double agent, but as you know, it didn't work. Because of the betrayal of the friendship between my father and a certain Peter Pettigrew," he took a breath. "Her death broke him. So that you understand, my father bullied Severus at school, and Severus hated him. And when I started at Hogwarts as a student, I looked quite a lot like my dad..." he smirked and added, "I forgot to tell you he was a teacher. He taught Potions. Stories about him still go around there to this day!"
Albus nodded sourly. "I've heard those! Professor Longbottom always had a ton of stories in his pocket! Some of them were really scary!"
Harry burst out laughing. "Poor Neville was a constant target, it's true!" He leaned back and folded his hands in his lap. "In short, Severus hated me from the moment I set foot in Hogwarts, but for some reason I didn't know then, he protected my backside. Right to the end," he took a shaky breath. "That was the first time he died." Albus opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "He was bitten by the Maledictus Nagini. A snake monster several metres long, and supposedly there was no cure for its venom," Harry shook his head. "He actually died in my arms." Albus didn't understand anything. "But it was only the Draught of Living Death. He had found a way to survive it, back when that same Maledictus attacked Mr Weasley. I thought I'd kill him myself when I found out he was lying at St Mungo's and would pull through. Only the Ministry knew about him. To the world he was dead. With Hermione's help we got him out of Azkaban, and somehow we fell in love," he chuckled. "It was hard. Severus used to be very sarcastic, aggressive and constantly irritable. On top of that, the wound hurt him for several years and he could no longer teach those empty heads..." He burst out laughing at a memory only he could see, and Albus wondered whether he had perhaps gone mad, when he went on. "Albus, when you were born and Severus held you in his arms, I was enchanted. That was the first time Severus smiled. And you smiled at him," he sighed. "And your names were a battle. Albus was the only name he could swallow. He didn't like Severus after him, because he thought people would associate it with him, and then James Sirius..." He started laughing again. "Two names, meaning two people Severus probably hated more than Lord Voldemort! James Potter and Sirius Black. But he couldn't resist me. I got what I wanted, because he loved me..." He took a breath. "Albus, I won't torture you with memories any longer. What I really wanted to tell you was that after my death you should contact the people closest to me and invite them to the funeral. And then I have to give you instructions for the funeral. I refuse to be buried anywhere but with Severus. I want a shared grave. And I want it to be clear who lies there. So change the headstone. It will say Harry James Snape Potter and Severus Tobias Snape Potter, and I wanted to ask you to have my memoirs published in the papers. The press will pounce on it. But remember! I don't want you to suffer in any way. Before you give it to them, you must have them sign a paper saying they won't change my memoirs in any way and won't write about you! Severus deserves for everyone who hated him to know the truth. He didn't deserve it. He never killed anyone except Albus. Before, he wouldn't let me publish it..." He smiled nostalgically. "My funeral will be private. I want my family there. Hermione, Ron and Dudley. Maybe Ron will bring someone from his family. But nobody else. Wait with the papers until after the funeral!"
That night Albus left with mixed feelings. At home he sat with warm milk until dawn, thinking. He had a feeling Daddy would probably die that night. That was why he had felt such pressure to go and see him. He wondered why James had been such an idiot and hadn't come with him. Maybe he would never have the chance to talk to him again! He climbed into bed with his husband, put his arms around him and cried quietly. In the afternoon he found Harry at home, holding Severus's book in his lap, open at the same page it had been open at for more than a year. In his other hand he was clutching the same photograph he had held last time. Unlike his previous visit, Harry's chest wasn't rising.
His death floored Albus. But he tried to hold it together, for his family's sake, and to arrange everything in advance. His husband stood by his side and held him up. He addressed envelopes with the recipients' names and put into them the funeral notice Harry had chosen before he died and a letter Harry had written. The sample funeral notice lay, how else, among those letters. Albus spent a good three days reading through them. If it hadn't been under such tragic circumstances, he would probably have enjoyed it. Hermione's motherly lecturing style and Ron's peculiar vocabulary and frequent digs at Dad truly entertained him. Dudley's letters were in a different spirit. More familial. You could tell he had found his way to his cousin. For many reasons Albus decided to deliver the letters in person and so meet the important people in his daddy's life.
Dudley, as family, was first on his list. Albus rang the doorbell on Privet Drive and looked around. It was evening, and he hoped Muggles weren't in the habit of throwing out night visitors. When a little boy opened the door, Albus smiled at him, and the boy yelled somewhere into the house, "Grandad, we've got a visitor!"
From inside the house came the answer, "Coming!" And an interesting looking, broad Muggle shuffled towards the door. Albus straightened up as the man quickly put on his glasses and muttered, "I was about to say Harry hasn't aged at all. Who are you? A wizard?" He looked Albus over from head to toe. Albus bowed his head. "Albus Severus Potter. Or rather Snape Potter. Pleased to meet you, and yes, I'm a wizard," he held out his hand. The Muggle took it and invited him in for tea.
"I'm here alone with my grandson today. My wife died several years ago, and this little rascal's parents wanted to go out for dinner." He ruffled the boy's hair and then sent him off to watch the cartoon he had started. Dudley sat his guest down at the kitchen table and made tea. Meanwhile Albus took out the envelope. When the master of the house sat down, he said, "You're his son, aren't you? Has he died?"
Albus nodded and slid the envelope over to Dudley. Dudley took it and read it, and after putting the letter down, he wiped away his tears and looked at Albus. "So now we only have each other, boy. I understand you have a brother too, right? Will you bring him to visit me?" Albus nodded and then took a breath. "James is a bit wilder, but I'm sure he'll be glad to meet you!"
Dudley was content, and then he told Albus what he had done to Harry as a child, and how Severus Snape had once come to see him and very bluntly explained that he should break free from the nonsensical prejudices his foolish parents believed so blindly. Albus was surprised, apparently Harry hadn't had a clue about it and had thought Dad would mind that he wrote to Dudley and kept in touch with him.
"I did a kind of soul searching marathon, and that's when my eyes opened. I actually had nothing against his magic. Maybe it scared me for a while, especially when he used it by accident as a child and Mum screamed. But at its core, that wasn't it. Harry was surprised that I wanted to keep talking to him normally. When my parents died, Harry was my closest family."
Albus listened to many family stories and slowly uncovered the life story of Harry Potter. In the morning he said goodbye to Dudley, after they promised each other to stay in touch as family, and headed to the Burrow to see Hermione and Ron.
Albus stared at the strange looking house that seemingly had neither head nor tail and looked as if it must fall down any minute. When he knocked, this time the door was opened by an old man, partly red haired and partly white haired. He didn't wait for Albus to introduce himself, he knew him from photos. Instead he hugged Albus, which surprised him. When the man held him at arm's length, he breathed out, "He's died, hasn't he?"
Albus only quietly confirmed it. Ron turned and pulled him into the house after him.
"Mione!" he yelled. "We've got a visitor! And you were right!" He sat Albus down at the old table and made tea. Then he swore and went off somewhere. A beautiful woman with still chestnut hair hurried in. "I'm glad to meet you!" She held out her hand, which she had first wiped on her apron. "I'm Hermione Granger Weasley!"
Albus stood up, took her hand and smiled. "Albus Severus Snape Potter."
Hermione looked him over properly. "Well, you've got something of Harry and something of Severus," she chuckled, to Albus's surprise.
Meanwhile Ron came back and brought Firewhisky. "I need a drink for this, Mione! Don't look at me like that!" Albus looked at them, unable to understand what was happening before his eyes. Mione took pity on him and explained. "Albus, we knew it would end like this. Harry was alone all his life, and when he found Severus, there was nobody else for him. He loved him, and he simply wasted away when Severus was gone. We hadn't seen him for five years. Ever since Severus fell ill, he stopped coming and took care only of him."
Ron interrupted her. "Oh, and now they're both sitting up there! I can just see Harry listening to Severus's rants about his cowardice," he burst out laughing until tears ran down his face. "I wouldn't want to be in Harry's place, for God's sake! When I die, I hope I don't run into them up there! Or no! I want to meet them! And I want to see them argue for eternity!"
Mione rolled her eyes. "We both have a kind of theory. Something happened once. Surely you know the story of how Harry walked to his death in the Forbidden Forest, where Voldemort was waiting for him."
Albus nodded, fascinated. "Harry didn't really die then, but the part of Voldemort's soul inside him did. And Harry had an amazing experience. In the place where he found himself, he met the already dead Albus Dumbledore again." Albus stared at her in disbelief. "Basically he told Harry, in a nutshell, that death is just one big new adventure. That time they met at King's Cross station. I think Severus was waiting for him there. In fact I believe they left together in the end. Nothing can separate them."
Ron sighed. "Don't listen to her! She's far too romantic!" He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Like Rose. She's like that too, only worse!"
Albus took a breath. "Rose? Do you have a photo? Dad mentioned her." Mione brought him a photo of a grown woman who looked just like her. "She didn't inherit much from Ron," Mione said vengefully. "Thank God, not that red hair..." A quiet laugh slipped out of Albus, and Ron straightened up. Albus decided not to go on, took out the letters and left them so they could read them in peace. Then he said goodbye, promising to bring his brother next time.
He had a lot of things to think about and so much still left to arrange.
James couldn't get over Dad Harry's death and spent a week drunk in the pubs of Spinner's End. After all, he wasn't married and had no children. He could afford it. It only annoyed Albus that he wasn't at least helpful! Only when everything was ready did Albus drag him out of it and make him look at his last memories with Daddy and his friends in the Pensieve. James emerged from it confused, with his eyes wide. "So the saviour of the wizarding world and the Dark Lord's right hand? Seriously?"
Albus nodded, and for the first time since Harry's death a smile appeared on his face. "I was in shock too!"
James nodded. "I'm guessing you haven't been idle, unlike me, and you've got everything ready."
Albus nodded. "The funeral is on Monday. I'll introduce you to the people closest to him. I've already been to see them. I feel, James, as if they haven't left. His friends are so like family. As if I'd found a family again."
James nodded. "I understand, I'm looking forward to meeting them. Now tell me, Albus, what can I help you with?" Albus smiled mysteriously.
Flashback
Harry settled into his armchair and took Severus's book in his hand. He looked at the printed words, and in his other hand he clutched a vial of poisonously green liquid. "Bottoms up, Sev!" He drank it quickly and made the vial vanish with a wave of his wand. He leaned back comfortably and gripped the photo frame in his other hand. With a smile he closed his eyes and pictured his conversation with Albus, many years ago. Once again he found himself at the misty King's Cross station, and behind him rang out Severus's disgusted voice. "Stupid Gryffindor!" he growled.
Harry spun around and breathed out when he saw Severus, just as he had known him many years ago. "Sev!" He ran to him and put his arms around his waist, his head on his chest.
Severus let his arms drop and then carefully hugged Harry. "And just as disgustingly theatrical as ever!" He pulled back. "Can you explain to me what you were thinking?! Couldn't you really wait for death to come naturally?! What about Albus and James?"
Harry growled back, "They're both adults! Albus has a husband and children, and I've taken care of James! He'll be with Rose."
Severus rolled his eyes. "You only mentioned that Rose exists, and only to Albus! Do you really think it will lead anywhere?"
Harry nodded. "Love will find them. They're meant to be!"
Severus pressed his lips together. "Love again. Did something happen to you? Has Dumbledore possessed you by any chance?!" Harry grumbled, "Nonsense. Love exists. Look at the two of us! And I simply couldn't go on living without you, Severus. You can't imagine how lonely I felt! How much I missed you!"
Severus shook his head. "I just don't understand how you could kill yourself! You were a man bursting with health with many years ahead of you! I would have waited for you! Such a cowardly step! Take me! I was ill for five years. My Mark had been slowly killing me for years before that. Did I take my own life, Harry? I endured that pain because I knew it would be terrible for you. That you'd be lost..." His voice slowly faded.
"You see? You always protected me until the very last moment, Severus. But without you I was nothing. I need you. Even now..." Harry added quietly. "Why do we have to argue even in eternity?"
Severus looked at him, but his eyes no longer seemed angry. "Because that's just me."
Harry smirked. "Shall we wait here for the others, Sev, or shall we go on?"
Severus kissed his nose. "I'd like to watch them a little longer. After all, it's good to know in advance what to be ready for. And I haven't seen my great grandchild from James yet."
Harry finally snuggled up properly and hugged that familiar body. "Great, then let's find a bench! My feet hurt." He slowly and strategically pulled him towards the nearest bench, and Severus, in full swing again, objected. "You're dead! Your feet can't hurt! And don't think you'll distract me that easily and I'll fall for it!" Only a heartfelt kiss silenced him.
Albus got through the funeral fairly well. Everyone was moved and in tears as they took turns at the grave with their speeches and memories. Albus listened to them and tried to store everything he heard in his head. Now he understood what Ron had been talking about on his first visit. He also imagined them sitting together on the train now, arguing, with Severus breathing fire and brimstone at Harry on the way to a new adventure. He smirked as he stood alone, the only one left at the newly carved headstone. He looked into the distance, where James was hugging Rose, and turned back to the grave. "So that remark of yours about Rose was aiming in this direction after all. So they're together. And they've only known each other for a week. Unbelievable. James tells me it's as if they've known each other forever! You got exactly what you wanted. Tomorrow the first part of your memoirs comes out and the world will probably be turned upside down!" he chuckled. "I'll go now, and say hello to Dad Severus, if he's there with you." He laid two red roses on the grave and turned to leave.
From the shadows Harry and Severus watched him go, and Harry smiled quietly. "I would have made a good Slytherin after all!" he winked at Severus.
Severus only shook his head in disgust and answered, "You're a manipulator, just like Albus!" The whistle of the wind carried across the cemetery, and in it someone might have heard Harry's last laugh.
THE END
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Mimosa Confiante
By day, I work somewhere between marketing, copy and campaigns; by night, I usually end up somewhere between fanfiction, cosplay and yet another “what if” that refuses to leave me alone. I write mainly in the Harry Potter and Mo Dao Zu Shi fandoms, most often Snarry, Snamione, HarryLu and WangXian. My healthcare background means that anatomy, medicine and far too much research occasionally find their way into my stories. Cosplay is another way for me to play with the characters I love, whether I stay close to canon or turn them into my own fanfiction and AU versions. In Diary of a Slytherin Girl with ADHD, I write openly about life with a brain that usually has far too many tabs open at once.
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