Bad Habits
As I always write at the start, I'm a member of the Snarry CZ/SK group, where the brilliant FemmeFragile came up with the Snapíšek gift exchange. This story was written as a contribution to it. I love the band Måneskin, and this story came to me while listening to their song 'Le parole lontane'. We all have some bad habits, and it occurred to me that there would be nothing strange at all about Severus Snape having them too. After all, who would come out of the life he lived completely unscathed? Sorry for any mistakes, this story hasn't been edited. If anyone would be interested in editing it, I'd be grateful. Enjoy the read!
I declare that the whole world of Harry Potter is the sole property of J.K. Rowling and that this story was not written for profit.
Harry Potter sat opposite Hermione Granger, staring into her eyes. They had both found jobs at the Ministry of Magic. Harry as an Auror and Hermione as head of the department for granting patents. "I'm still so alone, Harry! And I want a baby," she cried. Harry blinked. "And you're seriously asking me whether I'd give you one?!" Hermione nodded seriously. "Harry, please!" He looked away.
Ron, Hermione's ex husband, had turned out to be a real jerk when it came to married life. He cheated on her at every turn and imagined Hermione would never find out. That she would sit at home and bear him children. Harry couldn't bear to watch it. Although he was sure Hermione had heard all the gossip, he thought she was denying it to herself. One day he couldn't take it anymore and told her everything. He made her open her eyes, and Ron took it as an attack on himself. When Hermione broke up with him soon after, it drove a wedge into their friendship. Hermione wanted nothing to do with Ron, and Ron blamed Harry for every bad thing that had ever happened to him. And now here they were. Harry flinched, because Hermione had even gone so far as to try to kiss him! He escaped her reach in fright and blurted out, "Hermione! I'm not alone! I have a partner! I have nothing against going to a clinic and donating my genetic material! But I have to talk it over with him!" Hermione's eyes went wide. "You're gay?!" Harry took a breath and nodded. "Wow, Harry! And who are you seeing?! Do I know him?" Hermione switched instantly. Not a trace of the crying left… Harry looked at her again. "This is harder than I thought!" Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Malfoy?!" Harry burst out laughing. "Close, but no!" She thought about it. "It can't be his father. He's clearly straight. Blaise?" She raised an eyebrow. Harry threw himself onto the bed and pictured those black eyes. "Severus Snape." Hermione shrieked. "NO! Harry?!" She whooped, and Harry covered his ears, laughing. "YES! It's Severus Snape."
When she had calmed down, she asked him for a few details. "How long have you been together, Harry?" He shrugged. "Ten years." Hermione smirked and then breathed out. "That means since the end of the war! Did you have something with him when you were still a student?!" She frowned. "God, no! Severus is a man of principle!" he brushed her off. He watched the smile spread across her face again and waited for some terrible question. "What's it like going out with Severus Snape, Harry?" she was dying to know.
Harry thought for a moment, pictured Severus in front of him and launched into a long monologue Hermione didn't dare interrupt. "Well, Sev is just a personality. But you probably know that yourself. In a relationship he's overprotective. He completely ignores that I'm an Auror and that I can take care of myself. In a shop in Muggle London some homeless man went for me. I swung my arm to hit him and sort him out, but Severus grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me behind him. Then he quite unnecessarily drew his wand and subdued the poor man. Because of the secrecy I then had to wipe his memory. Severus almost killed him. Another time he snapped at some old woman at the till, just because she pushed me out of the way, since I couldn't decide which flavour of chewing gum I wanted. I was definitely in the way." He paused and went on. "Severus is also jealous and selfish. He took me to a concert. It was held in a pub garden. And at one point I got a bit annoyed. He didn't want to kiss me because there were too many people around. They were all Muggles! Nobody we knew. Well, I got offended, sat down at another table, and some man came over to ask me whether it was too loud. I said no with a smile, and then when he left, I went for a walk. Imagine, Severus thought I'd gone off with that man for a quick round. He bothered to come after me and immediately started yelling like a madman that he wouldn't tolerate me having affairs with other men. Over a few words with a staff member! Can you believe it, Hermione? He's also a man who's a bit mad and distrustful. Very loyal and protective. Like my sweet golden retriever, whom I can trust." Harry burst out laughing and raised his index finger. "But don't be fooled. He's a very sensitive man, Hermione. A wonderful listener. And he'd love to have me at home all the time. If he could, he'd probably give me detention every evening, just to have me to himself." Hermione clasped her hands. "That sounds lovely, Harry. I didn't know. I thought you were alone. That Ginny had hurt you so much that..." Harry shook his head. "No, Mione. I'm gay. I was the one who hurt Ginny." He looked at her. "Forget about it now. If you really want me to be the donor, I'll talk it over with Severus and let you know. He might want to talk to you." Hermione shrugged. "That's fine. I'll gladly answer all his questions." But something else occurred to her. "What actually happened, Harry? I mean with him? After the war he disappeared. He was acquitted in his absence." Her eyes widened and she breathed out. "And the Daily Prophet, Harry! How come it never came out anywhere that you're together?! They only ever write about that mysterious miracle painter! I'd love to meet him. But that's not the point now! I'm surprised Skeeter hasn't dug up this information about you!" Harry looked away. "It's complicated, Mione, and it's not my story to tell you!" With that he changed the subject.
When he got home, he didn't wait and told Severus everything. As he had expected, the idea didn't thrill him much. "A child. Miss Know It All." Harry watched emotions chase each other across his face. "God, why are you punishing me?!" he sighed. Harry knew his puppy eyes would have some effect on him, so of course he put them on to make him at least consider it. "I have to think about it," Severus said resolutely and went to the bathroom.
Harry knew what would follow. What he hadn't told Mione and had kept to himself was very personal indeed. After the war Severus Snape had turned to drugs and alcohol. But who could blame him? Nobody had lived through what he had. Harry realised he loved him when he nearly died in his arms. He decided that if Severus survived, he would be there for him. In the end he watched him destroy himself for several months, and then he ran out of patience. Thanks to a strict regime, Harry managed to get him out of the worst of it, but some things simply stayed with him. Severus Snape now made potions only on the side. In his high he had started to paint. But the best thing was that he painted Harry's naked body in various poses. Harry felt no need to be ashamed, because those paintings rarely had a head, so there was nothing anyone could recognise him by… He sat as Severus's model in the same intoxication Severus was in himself. He enjoyed it. The paintings got interesting names like 'A Celebration of Male Youth' or 'The Bliss of a Man's Touch'. Harry giggled at the thought, in that painting Severus had beautifully captured Harry's erection and painted his own hands on it. In the Milanese style. A perfect painting. A shame it hung in a gallery. After a moment's thought Harry got up and went to prepare their bedroom. He knew very well what would follow and was really looking forward to it.
Severus ran a big bath full of hot water. He poured in his own relaxing solution and lit candles infused with his improved marijuana. He needed to get into a relaxed state of mind. It was a serious decision, one he would normally have refused outright. That was just his nature. It was completely outside his comfort zone. Even though Harry would never touch her, he would still be the father of that child, and that was something he didn't like. He felt the fight going on inside him. When he sank into the fragrant water and felt the heat surround him, he exhaled contentedly. For a moment he felt as if he couldn't catch his breath, but the steam, the relaxing solution and the marijuana started working quickly. A minute later he felt his muscles loosen. He leaned back and began to think, first in his head. 'A child. Harry's and Hermione Granger's. What about you, Severus?' he asked himself. 'Will you be a nice uncle?' He shook his head. 'Can you demand that Harry never sees it?' He shook his head again. He sat up and took a cigarette and a lighter from the tray. He squeezed the filter between his lips and with a single flick lit a flame, which he brought to the cigarette. Then he took a drag and put the lighter down. He let the cigarette smoke out between his lips and leaned back in the water again. "A bad habit, Severus," he scolded himself and smiled at the cigarette. He took another drag and rolled the taste around on his tongue while the smoke lingered in his lungs. It took a while before he let it out. He tapped the ash into the ashtray he had also prepared and smirked. "A child! I hate children!" He tipped his head back and gazed through the steam at the ceiling. "You can't give him children, and Harry loves them. Besides, he'd want a family..." He took another drag and exhaled the smoke. "You'll have to come to terms with it. You'll do it for Harry," he muttered. He tapped off the ash. "Or we could both give her a child." The idea suddenly struck him and he started laughing. He took a bit too much of a drag on the cigarette and choked. He quickly put it down and straightened up so he wouldn't go under, because he was sliding down into the water on his back and had nothing to hold on to. "As if Granger would ever agree to something like that..." he scolded himself. When he got out of the bath, he went straight to the bedroom.
It was a dark room. On the windows hung dark green, velvet and hellishly heavy curtains. The carpet was red with Persian patterns and the furniture came from Venice in Italy. Severus loved his creative studio. For all that he was a pedant about potions, he didn't give a damn about tidying. Golden tassels swayed above the bed and on the curtains. He tried to live like a bohemian. He had stopped caring about mundane things and found pleasure in rumpled bedding and artistic mess, as Harry called it. He loved shiny fabrics that caressed his skin. It went hand in hand with a heightened sense of touch and imagination. Drugs simply took him somewhere else. Out of this world. They marked out a living space for him that was safe and where nothing could hurt him. He had started taking drugs during the war. Only mild ones, the kind that helped him get through the pain of the curses Voldemort had cast on him. It took very little for him to discover that wonderful world of painting. But he had to wait before he could allow himself to dive into that world. When he finally allowed himself, the drugs guided his hand quite surely, but they also led him towards ruin. Especially when he combined them with alcohol. A while after his relationship with Potter began, he started drowning in it. He was constantly drunk. He didn't care about anything. But Harry didn't give up on him. He prescribed him rehab. And lo and behold! Severus listened and dug himself out of it. That's how much he cared about the young man who had comforted him in his arms when he was dying. But then there were moments like this one, and his painting. He couldn't paint unless he smoked and was in his intoxicated state. So that Harry wouldn't have to worry about him falling back into it, he had invented his own 'drugs'. Non addictive ones.
When he finally walked into the bedroom, he saw Harry stretched out naked on the bed. That tempting young body laid out on red satin under a dark green canopy and contrasting golden tassels. His eyes feasted on that body. He followed the lines of the collarbones and the hard nipples, stiffened by the cold air. He let his eyes slide lower and followed the trail of black hair disappearing into Harry's lap. Goosebumps ran over Severus's skin. He smiled hungrily, but instead of throwing himself on Harry, he sat down behind his easel. Naked, he let a light golden dressing gown slip gently from his shoulders. He took his palette and brush. With quick strokes he began to sketch Harry's naked body. He took care to capture him perfectly. Including the tattoo on his right arm. The perfect curves of a Slytherin snake, coiling into a perfect S. It was a tattoo Harry had got a week before Severus's birthday. Supposedly so that Severus would have marked what was his. It had pleased him beyond measure. He remembered that day.
It was one of those bad days when the withdrawal symptoms were still weighing on him. He needed a boost. He needed an escape. He lit a rolled joint. Harry wasn't home. And so the door was open for Severus to smoke himself senseless. But he had underestimated Harry. He heard the door click and his voice calling for him. But Severus wasn't sober enough to answer him, let alone get up and greet him. When Harry walked into the darkened bedroom, disappointment showed on his face. But he said nothing. He undressed before Severus's eyes. Severus devoured him with his eyes, sliding them over his perfect body. A sigh escaped his throat. Harry carefully took off his glasses and put them on a stool. Naked, he walked over to the table where the infused candles were. He stood with his back to Severus, showing him his perfect backside. Then he walked around the table. He looked at Severus and slowly lit a long taper, with which he lit one candle after another, still held by his gaze. The air crackled with charged electricity. Severus exhaled. He moved his hand to his lap and began to play with his cock. All the while he kept watching the show. Harry didn't come straight to him. He lay down on the bed and, hypnotised from the sofa, Severus watched him begin to touch himself. First he wet a finger and then ran it from his mouth to his right nipple. The finger left a wet trail that gleamed in the candlelight. Severus broke out in sweat. Harry pinched his nipple and then rolled it between his fingers. He arched his back slightly and moaned. Severus felt the urge to go and tease him himself. But he stayed seated. He watched Harry wrap his other hand around his cock and slowly draw back the foreskin. He had never seen anything so sensual and beautiful. Gradually he sped up the movements on his own cock, in sync with Harry's on the bed. They both grew short of breath, and with their gazes locked on each other, they both came. Severus felt the urge to pick up a brush and immortalise him just as he was. That was how the first painting came to be. The naked body of a young man after lovemaking, with semen on his stomach and his lover's hand on his cock. Of course it caused a great scandal, but secretly everyone was jealous...
Severus came back to the present. In front of him was a half finished painting. The candles had long since burned out and Harry was looking at him. He was smiling. Severus put the used brushes in the water and got up. But he didn't go to Harry on the bed. He sat down on the sofa. He sat with his back against the armrest, one leg bent and the other hanging down. He lit another cigarette. There was a rustle of silk bedding, and Harry sat down opposite him in the same position. They looked into each other's eyes and then smiled at each other. Harry reached out, ran his hand over Severus's chest and took the cigarette dangling from his lips. Completely fascinated, Severus let him and watched the younger man put the cigarette in his mouth, take a drag and after a moment blow the smoke above their heads. He bit his lip and Severus parted his lips. He leaned in and began to kiss Harry. But he kept his hands on his knees. Harry was still holding that cigarette. After several minutes of intense kisses Severus pulled back and looked at the cigarette. "It's gone out..." he remarked quite pointlessly. Harry chuckled. "Do you want to light it again?" Severus growled. "The only thing you'll set on fire is me. I feel like jumping on you, Harry, but that can wait." He sighed long sufferingly. "Will she agree to mixing our sperm? Then we won't know whose child it is, and I won't be so pointlessly jealous." Harry burst out laughing and threw his arms around Severus's neck. "Hermione? She'll be in seventh heaven that her child might have your genetic potential." "As if that were worth having!" Severus yelped when Harry hugged him with cold hands. He rolled him under himself and muttered with a laugh, "Someone needs warming up!" Harry drew a sharp breath when Severus latched onto his neck and pressed his naked groin against Harry's. Instantly all the laughter left them both, and Severus decided to take Harry to heaven.
A week later they met at Hermione's home, where Severus put his proposal to her. Just as Harry had predicted, her eyes lit up and she squealed with excitement. "I agree!!! I'll book us into the clinic right away!" And she went off to make a phone call. Harry pressed his lips to his darling's lips and blinked. "See? I told you she'd die of excitement at the chance of getting your potion skills!" Severus looked into his eyes and all sorts of things occurred to him, just none of them concerned Miss Know It All. "Harry?" He cleared his throat. "Yes, Severus?" Harry said calmly. Severus looked around the small flat. It wasn't quite how he had imagined it, but he had no intention of waiting a moment longer. "Will you marry me?" Harry hadn't managed to take it in properly when there was a gasp. He turned towards the sound and missed Severus going down on one knee. When he turned back, Hermione was squealing behind him. "Say YES, Harry!" Harry smirked, looked firmly into Severus's eyes and nodded. Severus then slipped a simple ring onto his finger and hugged him tightly. In the end he kissed him right in front of Hermione. It was the first time in someone else's presence.
Hermione stood in front of one painting out of many by the gifted artist Rita Skeeter had raved about so much in the Daily Prophet, and she could only agree that he had a unique style. It was called 'Reflection of Desire'. She followed the lines of the reclining body with her eyes, when something stopped her. She looked closely and wondered what she was missing. She shook her head and breathed out in surprise. "Harry!" A lady walking past threw her an annoyed look and told her off. Hermione moved a little closer, and suddenly she was sure. On the arm, half hidden, was a tattoo. A snake in the shape of an S, as in Severus… Now the whole thing practically jumped out at her! 'Green curtains and golden tassels? Slytherin! Red bedding and golden furniture? Godric Gryffindor! Those daddies.' She lowered her eyes to her belly and smiled tenderly, whispering lovingly, "Well, would you look at that, little ones..."
THE END
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Mimosa Confiante
By day, I work somewhere between marketing, copy and campaigns; by night, I usually end up somewhere between fanfiction, cosplay and yet another “what if” that refuses to leave me alone. I write mainly in the Harry Potter and Mo Dao Zu Shi fandoms, most often Snarry, Snamione, HarryLu and WangXian. My healthcare background means that anatomy, medicine and far too much research occasionally find their way into my stories. Cosplay is another way for me to play with the characters I love, whether I stay close to canon or turn them into my own fanfiction and AU versions. In Diary of a Slytherin Girl with ADHD, I write openly about life with a brain that usually has far too many tabs open at once.
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