Diary of a Slytherin Girl with ADHD (2)
Some days deserve to disappear. Others deserve to be kept. And then there are the ones I don't write down for the world, but for myself. So here's today.
The Sunday ritual went to plan. Nail restoration spells, basic cleansing potions, small touches to their hair, at Grandma and Grandad's, where else. Everything was almost idyllic. She baked an amazing chicken that smelled of thyme and memories. I laughed, ate, breathed. And yet, deep inside me, something was already whispering that this body was preparing for an attack.
In the evening came a tiredness that had no name. Only weight. I thought I was drained from spending the whole afternoon playing the warm version of myself. But no, it was something else. Something in my bones that started twisting me before I could even name it.
In the morning the truth came out. Fever, a hoarse voice, my whole body aching like after a lite version of the Cruciatus Curse. I went to see a healer. Her verdict? Ordinary flu. The kind that sends you to bed, while the rest of the world doesn't count on it at all.
"Sick leave" is apparently a state in which you aren't supposed to be able to work. Funny. From that moment on, everyone wants something from me. Send. Do. Confirm. Design. Reply. Silence is a luxury I can't have. And even though I'm sitting wrapped in a blanket sipping a fever potion, I keep creating anyway. For other people. That's one of my big problems. I can't say no.
But I wanted to leave in January. Leave the Hall of Campaigns. Leave a department that changes the advertising spell plan three days before the end of the month and expects you to handle it all with a pinch of enthusiasm and zero magic spent. Three days. I need space. And nobody gives it to me. Only deadlines. And pressure.
And now? I can't do anything of my own. I can't sink into the fabric of my project, I can't create for myself. I just sit. Covered up. Weakened. Frustrated.
I'm cold. Not just my body. Head hunger. That strange state when you don't crave food, but calm, touch, silence. And today? Today I feel like crying.
Alex is supposed to come over in the afternoon. Maybe. But even if he does, I'm not sure I'll find the room in me to welcome him today. Tomorrow I might be different. Maybe the same. Maybe stronger. But I'll always be me.
Mimosa Confiante
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Mimosa Confiante
By day, I work somewhere between marketing, copy and campaigns; by night, I usually end up somewhere between fanfiction, cosplay and yet another “what if” that refuses to leave me alone. I write mainly in the Harry Potter and Mo Dao Zu Shi fandoms, most often Snarry, Snamione, HarryLu and WangXian. My healthcare background means that anatomy, medicine and far too much research occasionally find their way into my stories. Cosplay is another way for me to play with the characters I love, whether I stay close to canon or turn them into my own fanfiction and AU versions. In Diary of a Slytherin Girl with ADHD, I write openly about life with a brain that usually has far too many tabs open at once.
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